When I use the word “guru”, I am referring to anyone that you rely on for spiritual betterment or anyone you look to as a “thought-leader” in the spiritual community and sing the praises of. In general, I think the word guru is dumb because it puts people on a pedestal which is the opposite intent of spiritual enlightenment, but this is how I am addressing it.
The number one concern that I have when it comes to sourcing your betterment is: does the person you’re asking for advice from have it all together in their own lives, first?
Now, don’t mistake my words as a judgment on humanness – I am human. I don’t always have it altogether. I have many highs and I have the occasional lows. In general, I do emphasize to others that I am living a fairy tale life and my goal is that others get to experience this joy in their own lives, as well. I think I’ve got it right. I’ve used the guidance of love energy/God to get me to this place, and those are the messages I also wish to share or transmute to others.
And when I am in a period where I don’t seem to be well-rounded on the spiritual front, I pause the work I am doing with others. Because my work is based on a spiritual foundation, and if I am not spiritually sound, how can I safely guide the lives of others? How can my advice be trusted? And for that reason, I do truly believe what may be a controversial statement: individuals doing spiritual work should put their work on pause if they are not in a mentally, emotionally, and spiritually sound space.
When humanness takes the centralized position in our lives and we feel the weight of the world, ego influences our: decisions, ideas, opinions, and even responses. Knowing this, how can we trust to give solid, spiritually sound advice to another? We can try and separate ego from the work we do, but if it’s engulfing our lives outside of work, can it truly be separated at all?
I feel, as a person who has had and managed clinical depression, anxiety, and PTSD, that people who are in their mental lows should pause their spiritual work. This may mean a pause for days, weeks, months, or even years. But I think your focus should be on your shadows and your healing before you can safely navigate the healing or guidance of someone else’s soul. I do not believe guiding others when in a low is safe.
And even though spirituality is meant to be approached with an open heart and an open mind, I invite you to spiritually discern where you are sourcing your advice; from whom, and what mental or emotional state they are sitting in. That doesn’t mean that the person who appears to have it all together on social media is the one you need to trust with your journey – be discerning of that, too. But navigate through the waters of gurus carefully and ask yourself:
- Does this person seem to be at a low in their life that could influence the work they do with me?
- Is this person’s life a reflection of the life I want for myself?
- Does this person seem to want to continue to book clients primarily for financial gain?
- Do I watch this person overload their schedule with bookings and then complain or stress about it?
- What is the general energy that this person is putting out (in person, on social media)? Is that the energy I want in my life at this moment?
- Do I need to look for other guidance at this time? Who is living a life that reflects my own goals?
Now, that being said, I am not a “love and light” spiritual person, and I’m not an “only focus on the positive” person, either. In fact, my clients will tell you that a lot of the truths that are relayed through me can be quite harsh or direct! I just believe that spiritual work is sacred, and when you do work with clients, there is a large exchange of energy; I do not wish to share the energy of my lows with them as that negates the entire intent and purpose of the work I do.
If I am not in a state that I am happy with, how could I feel “fit” enough to guide others to a higher energetic space? When a personal trainer is ill, they don’t go to work; spiritual trainers should be conscious enough to also pause.